Archive for the ‘Girls’ Category

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Summerfest!

June 20, 2010

My favorite music festival kicks off next Thursday and with its 50 plus bands, food and beer over 11 days of fun, it’s one of the best summer music festivals out there. For the full list, you can visit the Summerfest website. However here are my highlights:

Thursday 24th

10PM: Passion Pit (102.1 US Cell Arena), Pat McCurty (Brigs and Straton)

Friday 25th:

10pm: Dirks Bentley (Brigs and Straton)

Saturday 26th:

10PM: Cage the Elephant (102.1 US cell)

Sunday 27th:

10pm Less than Jake (Miller Oasis)

Monday 28th:

10PM: Pitbull (Harley) Blue Oyster Cult (M&I Classic Rock)

Tuesday 29th:

1opm: Guster (Harley)

Thursday July 1:

10pm: OAR (Miller Oasis) Offspring (Harley) The Roots (Brigs and Straton)

Friday July 2:

10pm: Scorpions (Harley) OAR (Brigs and Straton)

Sautrday July 3:

10pm: Modest Mouse (Miler Oasis)

The JS ran a bit about the picks and pans of the festival from some vets. I wanted to add my 2 cents:

Tried and True: Phil Vasser. I’ve never seen him personally, but I’ve heard that he does a great concert. I know a lot of people that make a yearly pilgrimage to his concert.

New:  Cage the Elephant, They’ve gotten some good airtime on 102.1, so I’d like to see how they do live.

The coup: DEVO/The Scorpions. 80s rock at its finest. Whether you want to Whip it or get rocked like a hurricane, reliving some 80s band memories will be fun.

You again?: OAR. I’m not saying I don’t like OAR and I won’t see them this Summer too but another year of where they are playing 2 concerts? Can’t Summerfest bring another band it? Go see them at the Harley, if you do go see them, the stage is so much better.

Wish you were here: Reel Big Fish. Saw them for the first time 3 Summerfests ago when they played with Against All Authority, streetlight manifesto and Less than Jake. It was an awesome night of music. One of my favorite Summerfest nights that I barely remember.  there are a bunch of other band that I’d like to see too but RBF is my favorite band not at the fest.

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A sad? update: Stormy Daniels will NOT run for senate.

April 20, 2010

Stormy Daniels says she won't challenge Sen. David Vitter (R-La.) for his seat because of his formidable war chest.

Stormy Daniels (above) is not going to be running for senate against David Vitter of Louisiana.

After a long flirtation with entering politics, adult film star Stormy Daniels announced she will not make a run for the U.S. Senate in her home state of Louisiana.

“The simple fact that David Vitter has $5 million in his bank account pretty much says it all. Against that shear accumulation of special interest dollars, I have no legitimate means of winning a race for the United States Senate under these circumstances. As a businesswoman, I know that better than anyone,” Daniels says in a statement.

She continues: “I am not running for the US Senate because I am an adult entertainment star. I am not running for the US Senate for the same reason that so many dedicated patriots do not run — I can’t afford it. On this day in particular, we should all take time to reflect on the loss to our country that comes from the sad fact that those who may truly desire to contribute to our society are barred by those who only seek to unjustly profit off it.”

That kind of sucks, not only could I make A TON of jokes between now and the primary, but Republicans passed up the opportunity to have a super hot member of the senate. And it’s not like some members of congress don’t have a checkered passed, sexually. Just ask the senator she was going to challengeJust ask Michael Steele.Who needs clubs when you’ve got a direct pipeline to the girls? I think Daniels could have raised the money, she’d just have to do 7-10 extra movies a day. She’d have done a great job as the Republican Senate Whip.

Ok I’ve taken this a bit too far.

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But will she use her stage name? Stormy Daniels for Senate

April 6, 2010

First of all, nope I’m not gonna post any pictures. Other than Campaign photos:

“Adult Film Star” Stormy Daniels (real name Stephanie Gregory Clifford) is running for Louisiana Senate. She’ll be challenging incumbent David Vitter.

This is from WDSU in Baton Rouge:

Daniels announced her political affiliation after nearly a year of speculation that she was considering a run for Vitter’s seat in the Senate — a move most analysts and many Republicans have characterized as a potshot at the incumbent more than a serious campaign.

Daniels has tweaked Vitter for his self-described “sin,” which has never been fully disclosed.

On Tuesday, she took what appeared to be tongue-in-cheek shots at the entire Republican Party.

“While this decision has not been an easy one, recent events regarding Republican National Committee fundraising at Voyeur, an L.A.-based lesbian bondage themed nightclub, finally tipped the scales,” she said, refering to revelations that party funds were spent at a racy California hotspot.

Though Daniels traveled the state on a listening tour last year, she has not committed to a campaign and never declared herself a member of any political party.

In a statement released to the media, however, she noted: “I am ready today to declare that should I seek the office of U.S. Senator from the great state of Louisiana, that I will do so as a Republican.”

No mainstream challenger from within the GOP has announced plans to run against Vitter. The lone Democrat to enter the race — Rep. Charlie Melancon — trails by double-digit figures in most polls.

A year ago, some political experts identified Vitter as the most vulnerable Republican in the Senate, but the first-term incumbent has worked to shore up support from conservatives and has raised substantial funds for his re-election campaign.

While she does have a career that may turn off Bible Belt social conservatives, Vitter does (probably) like prostitutes… so what’s the difference? He (could have) paid girls for things while Daniels was paid to do things on camera. If I lived in Louisiana I’d vote for Daniels in the primary? Because she’s young, Republican and attractive. But I like those qualities because I’m a guy.

I wonder how the rest of the porn world politically aligns? that’d be a heck of a campaign ad for Daniels if she got some of her “co-workers” to support her.

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20 things we hope are still popular by the end of the next decade

December 12, 2009

A few days ago I came out with a list of things that won’t be popular in 10 years, well here’s my list of people and things that I still want to be popular in 10 years.

1. Grand Theft Auto –

I don’t care how old I am, I’ll always play these games, no matter what it teaches my kids about out running cops and killing prostitutes. GTA video games  need to be classified as an art form. Like Sistine Chapel level art. If Da Vinci made video games, he’d make Grand Theft Auto.

2. Madden NFL 20##

-See Above. Madden could be long dead but it just isnt video game football without his name on the game. What’s better than getting into a fight with your buddy over kicking his ass in Madden?

3. The iPhone –

It’s like my 3rd arm/2nd penis/4th testicle. I’m that attached to it. Apple does good work

4. Jay Z – I don’t care if he’ll be nearly 50 when he releases the Blueprint 4. He’s that good

5. Bristol Palin

MILF?

6. Entourage

Ari Gold will explains why this show is so great.  Unless Vinnie Chase decides to go all River Phoenix at the viper room this show should last a long time.

7. The Office –

Jim’s pranks and Dwight being Dwight is worth watching for years. I want to watch this show until Michael Scott dies in his office when he’s 75.

8. Guitar Hero/Rock Band

Sure they may be reaching down in the barrel by 2019, but Guitar Hero: Flock of Seagulls will still be hella fun to play when you’re drunk at a party.

9. The Simpsons

No seriously, I still like the show. It could last for another twenty years. When other shows acknowledge that the Simpsons have done everything

10. South Park

Its funnier that the Simpsons with more social commentary. It’s hilarious in a totally offensive way.

11. Taylor Swift

Sorry Kayne, this chick is hot. So fricken Hot

12. Twitter

It’s fun, it’s addicting and its much more entertaining than Facebook.

13. Tucker Max books

I hope they serve beer in hell -which is a hilarious movie now- is the only book I’ve read cover to cover 3 times back to back to back. I bust it out every once in awhile and read stories to people have never heard of the hilarity of Tucker.  He has a new book coming out soon too.

14. Batman Movies-

Christian Bale as Batman is great and with an amazing supporting cast, these movies are great. I hope they make a bunch more movies

16. Conan O’Brien

I think he’s great as the tonight show host. I love Jay Leno, but being able to see Conan and Jay at respectable times and now have to wait through boring celebs pitching bad movies.

17. Fox News Female Reporters

I love fair and balanced… Giggity! It doesn’t have to specifically be these girls, but as long as fox News still hires hotties, I’ll be watching them.

18. Harry Potter

For the sake of Universal Studios which opened a Harry Potter theme park, I hope it works out well. I bet it’ll be a cool park though, if they have bad ass rides. These books better have staying power otherwise this Universal will be stuck with a bunch of kids wondering what Harry Potter is.

19. Google

It’s not like google is going to become unpopular, but I hope they don’t start doing lame shit like yahoo does to bring down the quality of The Google. My only fear is if google’s popularity keeps increasing, it’s going to be Skynet/The Matrix. Google will start sending machines back in time to kill the yahoo creators, Bill Gates and Steve Jobs, or Gmail will start harvesting our bodies to run their dozens and dozens of programs/applications

(here’s a personal one) 20. Buzz Williams

I hope he does for Marquette what Al did for MU. He’s a great recruiter with a great coach on a great basketball team. He could be the next Al McGuire if he decides to stay with the program.

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20 Things that are popular now but WON’T be by the end of the decade

December 8, 2009

1. Barack Obama

This guy is nothing but a fad. He’ll be a footnote in history. Swept into the Millard Filmore dustbin of presidential history… Right?

2. Levi Johnson

Too big of a douche to be left alive in 10 years

3. Erin Andrews

By 2019, Erin Andrews will be 41. That is too old to be a coveted sexy sideline reporter. ESPN will have genetically grown a new one.

4. The Hills

No no no no no no no no…. this is not to be watched.

5. Lady Gaga

You’re telling me this will be alive by the end of the decade?

6. Miley Cyrus

Remember how big of a deal it was when the Olsen twins turned 18… then everyone stopped caring about them. This will happen to Hannah

7. Brett Favre

Even though his less than stellar comebacks with the Carolina Panthers and Cleveland Browns won’t go according to plan,  Brett will finally be put out to stud (read: the glue factory) before 2019.

8. Global Warming

Al Gore faked it and it’s not man made. Pollute the hell up baby!

9. Facebook

Does anyone remember when this was a resource for college students to connect with people in class easily? now it’s just a glorified myspace, your parents are on it and your 11-year-old cousin is on facebook playing farmville . It’s been ruined. Here’s my pitch to nuke facebook and start all over.

10. Ugg Boots

If Old Navy Performance Fleece don’t make it 10 years, what chance do you give these things?

11. Tights

If Ugg Boots go, so will tights. If it was up to me it’d be a national law that hot chicks wear uggs and tights but I’m not a law maker.

12. American made Cars

There is no way the business models of American car companies will work into the next decade.

13. Glenn Beck

Two reasons: This much anger to democrats can’t be healthy in the long run or if Republicans win things back, he won’t have anything to complain about.

14. T-Pain

Come on! How does this guy have staying power?

15. Legos

Like the actual blocks. I haven’t seen one of those in years. Instead we have Lego Star Wars, Indiana Jones and rock band video games. Legos are only virtual building blocks now.

16.Meghan McCain

Can someone sweep the Paris Hilton of politics into the dustbin of history yet? It’s been a year since her dad failed and she’s still on TV.  I’ have more political knowledge in the lower half of my left nut than her. (And before she tweets her anger, it has nothing to do with her being a girl, or “real” girl -read chubster- at that. It’s just because she’s an idiot)

17. Tila Tequila.

Is she hot? Supremely. Is she an idiot? YES! She’s only popular because of My space and has no real skills. In order to live til 2019 she’ll have to turn to porn, and then meth. I have a bet that she or Lady Gaga will be dead by the end of the decade.

18. Swine Flu

The WHRA says it will close its H1N1 mass immunization clinics at the end of day on Dec. 11.

Just like SARS, Bird Flu and AIDs before it, Swine Flu is an over hyped illness that doesn’t affect half the amount of people that it was suspected to. If AIDs, SARS and Swine Flu killed as many people as it was projected to, there’d be like three dozen people left in the world.

19. Sarah Palin

Her book deal will be the peak of her career (well technically being a Vice Presidential candidate may be up there)… Hopefully

20. The World

The Mayans are saying the world is going to end in 2012. So The World probably won’t be popular 5 years after ending. And if Sarah Palin’s career continues into the next decade, she may have something to do with the world ending.

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Tiger Woods Admits Indiscretion [Updated]

December 2, 2009

I’m going to look past this whole Tiger Woods wrecks his ride debachle and look at some other things.

Let’s clarify this situation, Tiger Woods was hitting this lovely supermodel:  

He had two kids with this woman, she still looks redic hot yet he decided to cheat. He has admitted to these indiscretions. The Alleged Mistress: Rachel Uchitel (We’ll call her Bogey)

She is nothing more than some dumb socialite. She is denying allegations. And now why is it when famous guys cheat on their wives, more often than not the cheat on a girl less hot. Seriously look at Jude Law’s nanny, Billy Clinton’s intern (ok that one is iffy) but still, Tiger is no different.

All I say to Tiger is: Bro, you were hitting a Supermodel. Some of us aren’t so lucky. For shame.

—-Instead of posting about twenty different topics about Tiger Woods, I’ll just comprise everything I’ve looked into thus far.—-

US Weekly claims they have a voicemail from a panicked Tiger calling this girl (aka double bogey): she is 24 year-old Los Angeles cocktail waitress Jaimee Grubbs. Yes the same Jaimee Grubbs that appeared on Tool Academy. She also claims to have redic dirty text messages (I’m really surprised Tiger didn’t use any golf based sexual innuendo there) from the Golfing Great. Please save all jokes about a “Golf Tool Academy.”

Tiger’s choice of mistresses aren’t impressing me. His lack of derogatory use of the word “putter,” “balls,” “Driver,” “shaft,” “#-iron/wood,” “head cover,” and “rough” makes me sick.

But it gets worse.

Is there a third girl?

Life and Style has reported that Kalika Moquin, a Vegas Marketing Manager (aka Triple Bogey) has been *lame golf innuendo* with Tiger Woods.

TMZ Claims there is a fourth girl too. Tiger is shooting four over par right now. Though I can’t quite tell.

Looks Like Tiger isn’t out of the Woods yet. (This terrible joke will be ripped off by every tabloid news show) Seriously though Tiger… you were married to a really hot chick.

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Advice To Police Chief Ed Flynn

November 20, 2009

Milwaukee Police Chief Ed Flynn needs a little help… here’s what he needs to do:

A) Deny Til you Die. He’s kind of got this one down.

Jessica’s soon to be ex-husband disagrees so just stick to the Bill Clinton “I did not have…” story and this could blow over.

B) Stop plowing Jessica McBride.

This’ll get you through the year pal.