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Tiger Woods Admits Indiscretion [Updated]

December 2, 2009

I’m going to look past this whole Tiger Woods wrecks his ride debachle and look at some other things.

Let’s clarify this situation, Tiger Woods was hitting this lovely supermodel:  

He had two kids with this woman, she still looks redic hot yet he decided to cheat. He has admitted to these indiscretions. The Alleged Mistress: Rachel Uchitel (We’ll call her Bogey)

She is nothing more than some dumb socialite. She is denying allegations. And now why is it when famous guys cheat on their wives, more often than not the cheat on a girl less hot. Seriously look at Jude Law’s nanny, Billy Clinton’s intern (ok that one is iffy) but still, Tiger is no different.

All I say to Tiger is: Bro, you were hitting a Supermodel. Some of us aren’t so lucky. For shame.

—-Instead of posting about twenty different topics about Tiger Woods, I’ll just comprise everything I’ve looked into thus far.—-

US Weekly claims they have a voicemail from a panicked Tiger calling this girl (aka double bogey): she is 24 year-old Los Angeles cocktail waitress Jaimee Grubbs. Yes the same Jaimee Grubbs that appeared on Tool Academy. She also claims to have redic dirty text messages (I’m really surprised Tiger didn’t use any golf based sexual innuendo there) from the Golfing Great. Please save all jokes about a “Golf Tool Academy.”

Tiger’s choice of mistresses aren’t impressing me. His lack of derogatory use of the word “putter,” “balls,” “Driver,” “shaft,” “#-iron/wood,” “head cover,” and “rough” makes me sick.

But it gets worse.

Is there a third girl?

Life and Style has reported that Kalika Moquin, a Vegas Marketing Manager (aka Triple Bogey) has been *lame golf innuendo* with Tiger Woods.

TMZ Claims there is a fourth girl too. Tiger is shooting four over par right now. Though I can’t quite tell.

Looks Like Tiger isn’t out of the Woods yet. (This terrible joke will be ripped off by every tabloid news show) Seriously though Tiger… you were married to a really hot chick.

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